1 Corinthians 12:12-13

12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

John 13:35

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Philemon 1:1-25

1 Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother,

To Philemon our beloved fellow worker 2 and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house:

3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

4 I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, 6 and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. 7 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.

8 Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love's sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— 10 I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. 13 I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. 15 For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. 22 At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.

23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, 24 and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers.

25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

“Godly relationships glorify God and demonstrate the reality of the gospel in our lives.”

-Stephen Cole

I. THE FOUNDATION IS LOVE THAT STEMS FROM FAITH IN JESUS

Philemon 1:5

because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints,

John 13:34

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

II. AFFIRM THE VALUE AND CONTRIBUTION OF EACH PERSON

Philemon 1:1

Philemon our beloved fellow worker

Philemon 1:5

because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints,

Philemon 1:7

For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.

III. PRAY FOR PEOPLE AND TELL THEM

Philemon 1:4

I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers,

IV. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, APPEAL RATHER THAN COMMAND

Philemon 1:8-9a

8 Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love's sake I prefer to appeal to you...

Philemon 1:14

but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord.

Philemon 1:6

and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.

Philemon 1:13-14

I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent…

Philemon 1:20

Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

V. USE TACT

Colossians 4:6

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 12:18

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

VI. BE WILLING TO BEAR THE COST OF THE RELATIONSHIP

Philemon 1:18

If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.

The price tag is often forgiveness.

Proverbs 19:11

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs.